Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
