no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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