I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
