okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
