He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
