Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
