i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
People in love make me want to vomit
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
