i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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