Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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