She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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