Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
