I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
