im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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