Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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