Someone shit on the floor
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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