I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i may or may not be watching the land before time
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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