Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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