btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
