You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
