Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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