Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
