Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
