she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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