The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
