I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
