the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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