You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
