i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So many bounce houses so little time
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just forgot I was standing up.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
