just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
