apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
