I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My liver just broke up with me...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
