Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
