i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
