You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
