I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
