Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
