Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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