There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
