dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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