i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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