ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
