redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
