So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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