Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We need to get me chipped asap
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
