she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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