reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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