Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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