Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
