he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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