god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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