Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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