There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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