Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
